It’s basically like a writing exercise, you write whatever comes to your mind; the idea behind that being “if you can get in the habit of writing three pages a day, that it will help clear your mind and get the ideas flowing for the rest of the day.”. Oh yeah, 750 words averages to about three pages, so if you’ve heard of the idea of morning pages, this almost the same thing but on a computer. It’ll save all your entries like a journal of sorts, which can be viewed at anytime of your liking. These entries will be totally private, they’re only meant for you. You can export them though. It has the option of setting up reminders etc. and my favourite part is that, with the help of text-analysis system, it’ll tell you your supposed emotion at the time of writing. It also calculates the speed at which you type and…….loads of  other stuff. Just read their about page, you can also go through their f.a.q section to get a better understanding of it.

I completed my first set of 750words last night, and since it’s been a while that I’ve posted anything on my blog, I’ve decided to just post my first day’s account here. I hope this also gives you a basic idea of what it’s about.

“It’s actually about mid night right now; but since I’ve just signed up, I’ve decided to write anyway. I honestly wish there was something going on for me to write about, but, my life’s just that dull. I can make up a good story though, but then again “good” would be overstating it. Mediocre would most likely be the appropriate term, but, why make up a mediocre story when my life’s already just that dull. Also, I just realized the time doesn’t even matter; It just has to 750 words a day, regardless of the time I start writing. Yup, I’m just that dull. To make matters worse I just realized this whole site might be a big sham, thank you reddit.

On a more positive note, I signed up for reddit it today and realized that I’d been missing out on quite a bit. Been hearing bout it for ages, but never bothered. However, I finally signed up today. Sadly, that was actually the high point of my day, week or month even. But then again saying a month might be a little over dramatic. Am I usually this dull? no, but I’m out of weed. Not that the absence of weed bothers me that much, but I have to admit weed does amazing things to help pass time. It Makes life a whole lot more interesting.

I have a blog and yet I’m writing here. Why? because I’ve run out of ideas. I honestly have no idea what to write or blog about. I need to be more inspired. A whole lot more. As of right now, I could fill out my 750 words by just going on and on about how I have no ideas.

I’m not usually this jaded, but of lately I could almost literally, but, still figuratively be the actual color jade (what?!). As it must be obvious by now, there are a lot of ‘buts’ in my life. Yes, I’m a very confused human being; very very confused. In-fact if I were anymore confused I’d be a retard. See what I did there? I made a bad joke, an insensitive bad joke. Oh, woe is me.

Hmmm, I wonder if just copy pasting some random things from the net on here counts as anything. But, what would be the use of that. Damn it, I sound so emo right now I should just go slit my wrists. But would I do that? hell no, that shit is just gay, oh, I mean homosexual. In today’s world you always have to be politically correct. People tend to get too antsy bout anything and everything now a days. See what I’m doing now? I’m stretching my sentences to fill out the 750 words. Am at 458 now, make that 460; yep, I’m still doing it.

I had so many ideas before, should have noted them down to build on them. But then again, I procrastinate too much so I doubt I would have actually gotten very far. I decided to do this exact same thing with a pen and paper, started, did it for a day and then…..decided to do it later. And now I’m here. Yep, procrastinate (had to spell check that).

However I’ve always loved writing therefore I shall never give it up, I’ll never let it down, never gonna run around and desert it. Yeah, see what I did there? I just rickrolled myself. I’m just that blank. But, damn it, that song is so damn catchy.

I’ve always preferred wring with a pen and paper as opposed to typing it out on a computer. I guess it makes me feel like more of a writer. If only it were that easy. I don’t know why, but I tend to embrace technology and at the same time loath it. I guess it’s because technology makes life easier but at the same time, makes you feel less human in a way. Like your loosing touch with something. Ten years downs the line I wonder how technology would be? keeping my fingers crossed for legalization of marijuana. Wait! what?

Ah finally, I’m down to like about my last 50-60 words. Yay, I’m beginning to feel a sense of satisfaction. So, this looks like it’s gonna the end of my first day of writing. Hopefully, I’ll be able to continue this and actually be able to write something worthwhile. Then I’ll copy paste that motherfucker on my blog. Oh yeah, I curse. I’m just that hardcore. END.

WOOOPEEEEE…….Goldberg. Wait! what??? “

Yup, I copy pasted that motherfucker. On a side note, reddit is awesome. I was in darkness for the past few years, but now I’ve come to the light. Thank you reddit. Oh, my security concerns expressed up there’s just me rambling. I’m honestly pretty cool with it. Just refer to f.a.q section if you do have any security concerns.

And oh, on another side note, this is my first blog entry using Microsoft essentials’ Windows live writer. Not bad. I think I could get used to using this.

So, to all who like to write but are drawing blanks, this site should definitely be checked it. Well worth the time. Even if you aren’t drawing blanks, it’s still worth it.

Oh, “END” was precisely my 750th word.

…………………and he ran.

That was my Short Story of the day. Brought to you by boredom.

Boredom – Gonna get you all.

But Bob is not the subjust of my post today, Ciara is, apart from my utter randomness that is. I never really noticed her, even in my Hip-Hop induced days. I mean, I heard a few of her songs and stuff but, I never really paid attention…….until now……

Ladies and Gentlemen (this is more for the men), my reason for finally paying attention to her…

Now it may seem that the nature of the video would obviously get any guy’s attention, I don’t deny that, not one bit. However, just to set the record straight, it was not her sexually suggestive video that caught my eye; although, I admit it made me pay attention to her, it was her other video that got me interested in her….

……and that led me to the other video. And the rest my friends, is history.

I don’t remember the last time I really saw a woman move like that, be it in a dance video or anything. She just got it good. Whether you like the video or not, you cannot deny the fact that, Ciara really got some moves. This is the kind of video that makes a person go “OOOOHHH, lord have mercy”; seriously, the video is just mad, in the hip-hop-ish positive sense of the word. Luda, in my opinion is one lucky guy. Forget all his money, all his platinum albums, cars, mansions etc. the fact that he’s in this video with her….jealousy has never known a more bitter victim. I can’t see how anyone could have been on the sets of the video shoot and be able to contain themselves. I’m sure this would turn even lesbians on, or for that matter, make even a fair percentage of straight  women contemplate (ok, I’m just making random assumptions now). I would love a woman who could move like that, someone who could really….rriiiiidddeee it.

Well, anyway although nothing important, this post has put me back in the “damn, I want to write something” zone again. So, love or hate it…..Gary Coleman passed away; may he Rest in Peace (no disrespect).

Yes, the title is totally unrelated.

Edit:- I forgot to add… DAAAYYYYYYUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!! And you have to pronounce it just like that, or it loses it’s integrity.

All I do is Dream of You – Micheal Buble

It was Valentine’s on Sunday.

Dan Wilson – Sugar

I just left the bouquet outside her door. Like I said, it’s complicated.

Note:-Forgive the pathetic drawings. Apparently I have issues drawing straight lines even with a ruler. Also, just in case you didn’t get the last one, she’s supposed to be picking up the bouquet.

]]> http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/adventures-of-bob-valentines/feed/ 3 sei a1 a3 a5 a6 7 http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/adventures-of-bob/ http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/adventures-of-bob/#comments Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:34:26 +0000 seimin http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/?p=398 ]]> LOOK IT’S BOB!
☻/ This is bob,
/▌   he’s just a guy,
/ \   and this is his story….

All I do is Dream of You – Micheal Buble

When I was in school, I had a senior who was a major douche bag, but damn it, the guy had game. He was the biggest asshole I had ever met, but he had girls on him like flies on a turd (yes, that was intentional.). I always wondered what women saw in him. He wasn’t really good looking or anything, he was just an average guy, not much different from you and me. He treated women like shit and they would still come back for more. I never understood the dynamics of the relationships he had with these women. I know it was non of my business but still then. It was high school so, I agree many of the girls back then would have been naive and may not have been mature enough to have known better….or so I thought, until I met met him years later at a club. Still the same person, hadn’t changed much, still douching it up and still scoring, damn it, the guy had game.

After the break up, as I had mentioned earlier, I decided to douche it up too. Not the “wearing shades inside the club” kind of a douche but, just my attitude towards the opposite sex. Now, it’s not like I was having trouble meeting women. I’ve always been rather ‘smooth’ with the ladies, but when you come out of a relationship that’s lasted almost 4-5 years, getting back in the game is not that simple as it may seem. You go through various phases, ignoring the period of heartbreak etc. that is. Initially, you get excited thinking, “This is it, I’m free. Bring on the women.” but then, when it actually happens, you end up getting nervous  and saying things like “Did you fart? Because you just blew me away.”. And, as funny as that may have seemed in your head, there’s hardly ever a favorable response to it. Then all your confidence goes down the drain and it’s back to phase one all over again. Then, thinking that you’ve learnt from the previous attempt, you go for it once more. “You must be from KFC, because those are great breasts and legs.” and it’s back to square one again. But, slowly with time it gets better. That’s not to say that these lines don’t work, but just that, even if they do, it’ll most probably be out of pity.

The funny thing about this period is, you know there are certain girls who you like, and would like to date. But, instead of going for them, you decide to play the field. A sudden rush of freedom, I guess. You pick all the wrong one’s, the one’s who have no potential for dating, because the truth is you’re not yet ready to date. I was single again, and to be honest, I was kind of loving it. It just felt good, I mean there were the occasional lonely moments, but then again what are intoxicants for. Nothing like smoking/drinking/shooting/snorting etc., I just smoke joints but you know, whatever tickles your fancy, and listening to “At my window, sad and lonely”, the Jeff Tweedy solo version, the one with the band is not that great(also the Woody version s hard to find). I’m not saying it helps, but that song is just so fucking depressing, it could be the official theme song for any moment of loneliness. However, apart from these little moments, I was having fun. I met new girls almost every other day of the week. That doesn’t necessarily mean I was scoring all the time, but it wasn’t like I was doing badly either. But, still then, for no particular reason I decided to douche up.

I went out with my friends and met a few nice women. But, unlike the gentleman I usually I am, I acted like an asshole . And, honestly speaking I just seriously didn’t give a shit that night. I just wanted to be out, it wasn’t about even about hooking up. I just wanted have fun and if I did hook up it would have to be ‘a la asshole’. So, as the night went on, there was this one particular girl, who was absolutely entranced my divine state of supreme ‘Assholodity/Assholicness’.Truth be told I don’t remember much happened from there on out, I had a little too much to drink. But I do remember grabbing her ass, it was firm. But, apart from that, all I could recall bits and parts of her talking to me, telling me some random stuff about her sex toy-friends ‘asshole and douche’; don’t ask me, it didn’t make sense to me either. And also, that she was holding my hands, a lot. Then, next thing I know I’m escorting her back to her place. The fresh air hit me quite hard (When something like fresh air hits you real hard, you know you’ve been drinking too much), it shook me up a little. I’m glad it did, cos that’s the reason my memory gets better from here on out.

We reached her place, I stood there with her, outside her door. She held my hands and had this almost pathetic expecting look in her eyes, and I thought to myself “Woman, I’m just trying to bang you.”. But then  I realized, the way she held my hands, the look in her eyes……..she was expecting more from me. For me, this was just a one night thing, but for her it was different. Although I had been I had been a jerk to her the whole night, she still wanted to be with me. Then it all made sense, she wasn’t talking about her sex toy-friends..sex toy-friends?phfft, that’s not even a thing. She was talking bout her ex-boyfriends and how they were all assholes and douches, I guess some women are just addicted to jerks. And then, I said goodbye to her at her door and thanked her for a wonderful time and left.

I left because of two reasons, one because I didn’t want her to remember me as the guy who was a jerk to her. I mean had it been any other night and it was just me, being my regular self, it would’ve still been the same thing. If I went in, I still had only one task at hand. Once I would leave, I still wouldn’t have had any plans to call her; except for maybe the occasional booty call. And, rather than being remembered as an ass, I would rather be remembered as a nice guy………

That’s just an excuse, I mean c’mon, did you even read that? It hardly made any sense, maybe up to a certain level but after that, it just contradicts itself. The real reason being, I realized I didn’t really want to be there that night. I wanted to be somewhere else with someone else. And, irrespective of how she felt about me, I wanted to be with her. That night was just an excuse to drink, and get away from thoughts of her. The truth was, I was done playing the field, I had somebody in mind and I was ready to date. There were a few complications but, it was just her and no one else I could think of.

Let it be me – Ray Lamontagne

]]> http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/adventures-of-bob/feed/ 2 sei http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/bob/ http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/bob/#comments Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:54:39 +0000 seimin http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/?p=368 ]]> LOOK IT’S BOB!
☻/ This is bob,
/▌   he’s just a guy,
/ \   and this is his story….

(Cue music. I know this is just a story and it doesn’t need theme music, but every time I think of Bob’s character, this song accompanies him. Also, he’s my creation, so he has a lot of my traits. He might as well just be me; might. One last thing, he’s somewhat of a hopeless romantic; yes my friends, it’s going to be  a corny one. For people like Sir Loon/Marvel, Roger etc. feel free to throw up at any point, I will not hold it against you. My choice for the theme song should also make better sense now.)

All I do is Dream of You – Micheal Buble

(Also, I’ll be writing this, from his point of view; basically what I mean to say is that, I’ll be using first person as opposed to third person. I might go in to the third person as a narrator or something sometimes, but I’m still not quite sure yet. It must be apparent by now that I haven’t really thought this through yet.)

On others nights I would’ve most probably just smoked a joint  and listened to a few songs of Joanna Newsom, wondering if her throat ever bled from singing like that, all the while trying to decipher her lyrics or do some other unimportant stuff like that (BTW, she looks hot in the “Kids” video by MGMT. Also, I feel really bad for the little baby in the video, he must be having nightmares till now). Now, I doubt that my creator here would have told you much about me, so let me fill you in (Yes, I acknowledge my creator and I know I was born in his thoughts……BTW, he’s a pretty awesome guy). I like to think of myself as a little different from the regular everyday guys, although the description next to my profile photo up above may say differently, it is also true. Basically, I’m just a guy, but with interests and hobbies different from the one’s other guys around me or around my age group usually have. I’m not saying there’s no one else in the world like me, I’m sure there will be quite a few similar to me. But, around where I’m from….I’m rather unique.

I have a rather large Dong….well, actually it’s just a tribal drum my dad got while he was traveling around. I could have just said it was a tribal drum, but I prefer to say Dong because it leads people to usually assume I’m talking about my penis. Now, all that aside, I’ll go back to what happened that night. That night was different, I lay there watching the time go by; looking at the clock, wishing it would stop, wishing the whole world would stop. I wanted to halt time, pause it for a little while. I mean, I knew what was to happen, needed to happen. I had accepted this reality, but in that moment I didn’t want to, I guess sometimes you want to be selfish and not because we’re bad people or anything but, just because we’re human.

She lay asleep in my arms, I could feel her breathe on my neck. All the times we had fought, all the various things we fought over, as important as they may have been back then, all seemed so irrelevant now. I wanted to apologize for everything but I knew I didn’t have to because…..it was just understood. Now, it’s not like I went out in search of the perfect girl or anything, but, she just happened and she happened to be perfect.

But………more on that later. It’s been about two years from that night, we’re broken up now. We’ve been broke up for quite a while. It hasn’t been easy but I think I’m doing okay. No breakdowns, no awkward sob stories to strangers, no suicidal thoughts, I’d say I’m doing pretty well.  I mean sure I’ve had a few low points, like getting drunk with my friends, then lying on the ground, screaming out her name aloud while banging my fists on the floor. But, you know, shit happens. Over the past few months a lot of things have happened, a lot of things have changed. Since I was small, I have always been the nice guy. But, in the past few months I have taken the liberty to experiment with myself, my character etc. I decided to be an asshole for a while, and boy, was it fun. Of course it did have a down side to it, for instance, when I was an asshole I got a lot of hot girls, but the girls who I really wanted to talk to and have conversations with would shy away from doing so, me being an asshole and all.  Basically, it’s just not the best profile to have when wanting to meet sensible women. The dumb one’s fall for the assholes and the sensible ones pick and choose carefully or become lesbians, like my best friend. Yup, she’s a lesbian, but she wasn’t always one. We almost even dated once, then we didn’t, then we became fuck-buddies till one day she suddenly decides to go all lesbian on me. She’s now been in a serious relationship for the past 8 years. She did invite me to join them in a threesome a few times. I went once but decided never to do so again, it gets kind of dull when you’re the one with the least bit to play. I mean, sure initially when you’re there, you’re thinking “OMG, two hot girls making out in front of me!!”, then as the night goes on, slowly you begin to rethink you’re decision of coming here. Then when one of them says “Bob, you’re still here? sorry we were just so into each other.”, you begin to get angry and wonder why you were there in the first place. And, although they try to tell you, this somewhat awkwardly heart warming tale, of how them forgetting your existence at that moment made them realize that they didn’t need a man and that they were in love and just needed each other. It does not help, not even a bit. At the most, all it does is intensify your already bad case of blue balls. And, even if they tell you “come again, we’ll try again next time, it’ll be different. We promise.”, it never is.

to be continued (I hope)….

]]> http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/bob/feed/ 1 sei http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/deliverance/ http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/deliverance/#comments Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:52:36 +0000 seimin http://amalkanti.wordpress.com/?p=357 ]]> I was going through some old registers the other day, when I came across a poem I wrote a couple of months back. It’s basically about a topic I hold close to heart. But before I post it, I think a little explanation would be fundamental for you to understand the context of the poem. However, I don’t think it’ll really matter to many anyway, but, for the people who know what this is about, you know how shit gets.

Although my parents and their parents and so on, are all from Manipur, I am not a Manipuri and nor are they. In fact, I actually find being called a Manipuri rather offensive. Reason being that, although there are Manipuris, there’s also a huge number tribes that live in Manipur that are not necessarily Manipuri. Yeah, we just live there. I happen to be from one of those tribes, The Kukis, one of the largest tribes out there. As a matter of fact there are quite a few tribes which were originally Kukis but decided to break off and call themselves something else, to form smaller tribes (don’t want to get into it, just pisses me off). As of right now, we have no land or state of our own and my people are scattered all over the north east, some in Nagaland, some in Mizoram, some even in Myanmar and some, in other random places.

But it wasn’t always like this, back in the good old days, way way back, we had our own land; Zale’n-Gam. Now, I’m not trying to give a history lesson so I’m not going to get into the detail of things, but as usual, a basic outline is coming up right after this full stop. Zale’n-Gam roughly translates “Land of the free,” or “Land of freedom,”. It refers to the contiguous ancestral lands situated in present-day Northeast India, Northwest Burma and the Chittagong Hill tracts in Bangladesh, of course it wasn’t called Zale’n-gam back then; however those are the areas that my ancestors had once called their own. And all was fine, peaceful, until about 1770s when the bloody Britishers came and tried to invade the Hills. Then one thing led to another and things began to go down-hill from there. Like I said, I don’t want to get into the detail of things so we fast-forward to the present times where my people have taken up arms and are fighting for our own independent statehood. Not independence from India, but, rather an independent Kuki state within India itself. However, not surprisingly our fight hasn’t been all that successful. Instead, there have been numerous battles between Kuki clans itself and the various fronts, organizations etc. basically the various Kuki militias that formed to fight for the Kukis are now the main cause of many problems.

And now:-

Deliverance

To fight back for what’s rightfully ours,
I shall not bow my head,
nor accept defeat.
I salute those who stand at the forefront,
but, of them, how many truly understand the cause?
I will never be certain.
They say they fight for our freedom,
yet they persecute their own people.
Robbing them of their earnings,
justifying themselves, presumably for a greater cause.
As they indulge in the world’s ways,
and their people, become poorer.

I stand by the fight for what’s rightfully ours,
but must my own, suffer at the hands
of the so called Deliverers.
If they’re here to deliver us,
to take us to our promised land, our earthly Zion,
then why must we dread,
the one’s who should be our saviors?
Why must we fear for our lives,
every-time one of our alleged heroes is near?
Rather than being rejoiced,
why do they walk like strangers in our midst?
strangers who make us fear,
the very land we presently inhabit.

The fight for what’s rightfully ours,
is one I hope to see accomplished.
But, a question haunts me-
What is the plight of the common Kuki folk?
is it deliverance and freedom of our land,
or is it freedom from our true captors?
The so called heroes, the supposed warriors,
who’ve robbed, raped and destroyed,
all hope we might have had in them.
But I must point out, do not misunderstand.
I do not talk of those,
who’ve sacrificed their lives for us,
the unsung heroes of our cause.
But I condemn the one’s,
who in the name of our cause,
have given us nothing but suffering.
Who will deliver us from them?

Honestly speaking I don’t think it will ever happen because, I don’t, not even for a second believe that the Indian government will ever budge. However, if it ever happens, does it necessarily need to be through violence? The way things are going, is it ever going to be worth it? As much as Zale’n-gam means to me, to the Kuki people, is it necessary that the people, my people are exploited at the mercy of the “patriots”. How many of them actually fight for the right cause. Apart from a recruitment plan to seduce the young, do they bother to educate their blissfully ignorant recruits about the gravity of the cause they’re supposed to fight for. If they do, then why should one brother kill another, just because of a different faction or clan name? Are the goals not the same? Don’t we all want unity, peace and harmony? without these, what is the use of having our own sovereign state? We might as well just stop everything and say “fuck it”.

Supposedly, it’s a fight for the common man, to get what we rightfully deserve, yet it’s us who suffer at the hands of our own brothers. It’s not that I’m against any of the organizations or in favor of any particular one, but it’s just that I honestly feel that they’re moving in the wrong direction. You need money, make a fucking fund raiser or something, don’t point your guns and try to extort money from people, especially not your own. There are so many things that can be done for funds, yet they choose to go for the quickest and easiest method, stealing from the public. To make matters worse, quite a sum of that money is squandered on useless things. They carry their weapons, walking around with all the might in the world, knowing that people fear who they are, taking joy in this fact. Never knowing that respect is something that they’ll never achieve. Respect is earned by actions, by wisdom, by understanding, not by parading guns or creating fear in the hearts of their fellow men. It’s evident that the power these people have(forcefully attained rather) is being misused, not necessarily by all, but by quite a number of them. It’s just sad.

In my honest opinion I think it’s a lost cause, because even if it ever happens, by the looks of it we’ll only end up waving a blank banner.

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required:

and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more."

                                                                       Luke 12:48

Note:- This post was written in reference to the inner clashes amongst different Kuki factions,  not in reference to any of the clashes with militias of other states etc.

teehee

Oh China! how you tend to put me in a good humor. Saw some other pretty one’s, but this one really got me.

           "And when I'm feeling low,
              She comes as no surprise.
                  Turns me on with her love.
                       Takes me to paradise."
                                       Rick James - Mary Jane

After having driven in Delhi for the past few years, there are many things I’ve learned. Not only in terms of road safety etc. but also in terms of how to deal with the multitude of characters we tend to encounter every once in a while. Now, accidents are a commonplace on Delhi roads, that’s no secret at all. And, over the years I’ve had quite a few myself, luckily non too serious or life threatening, as of yet (hopefully I shall never have one). But, accidents aside, we “Delhiites” have a habit of picking fights for even the most insignificant of things, not only on the road but almost whenever possible, however,that’s a different story. Be it, a little bump or too much honking or even a bad look for that matter, is enough to set off the raging fury within. Without even bothering to pull over to the side, no, that would be way too much trouble. We’d rather stall traffic and take our own sweet time to straighten things out. And, once again, sadly I’ve been dragged into these a small number of times myself. However, as I had stated earlier, over the past several year, I’ve learned different ways to deal with these situations. I may not necessarily be the best to take advice from, in these matters. However, my experiences have taught me quite a bit and I’d like to share the knowledge I’ve gained.

Being calm on Delhi roads is not an easy task, It takes a lot, and I mean a hell lot, of will power to do so. In my younger days, I was always the more aggressive types while driving, giving the evil eye, flipping people off etc. to name some of the more milder stuff, but yes, I’ve done it all. I remember this one time when I got into an argument with a couple of youths. Even though it was even barely a scratch, they found it necessary to be all “ants in the pants” about it. Point to be noted, it was equally their fault as much as it was mine, well, a little bit more theirs. So we pulled over to the side, I was in my car wondering what I would say as I noticed the two fellows get off their bike and head towards me. Now, like I said, this was in my younger, hot headed days, so being the person that I was, I promptly got out  of the car and without even thinking twice, went to the back of the car, opened the trunk and took out the “crowbar type thing”, the thing used to change tyres; sorry, I forgot what it’s called. So, I stood there with this furious look in my eyes and the “crowbar type thing” in my hand waiting for these guys. Well, as expected these guys were taken aback and I don’t know whether it was the “crowbar type thing” in my hand or if the guys found me and my presentation humorous and decided to let me be, but we then proceeded to have a delightful conversation (I like to think it was the first one, do not take this away from me). Whatever the case was, one important lesson I learned that day was, intimidation is a very useful tool. Whether you think you can or not, as long as you can manage to look confidant and crazily ballsy, that’s half the battle right there (yes, I know you must have read that in other books before. My blog=my life, not yours). And this was something I began to live by, on the road while driving.

However, all this changed recently, when I had gone to pick up my sister from school. As I was on my way to the school (now, this part is really tricky to explain but I’ll try my best), I reached this area where I was to take a left into a little street. The road I was on had  a service lane running along it, on the left. In-case you get really confused, I’ve drawn a little diagram for your benefit (with a little “gimping”).

Drawing not to scale, obviously. And yes, laugh at it all you want. Also yes, I know I spelled apartments wrong, I always do.

So, as I began to turn in, a car came along on the service lane, also trying to enter the street I was headed towards. Since the car was further of from the turn than I was, I decided to make a go for it. But, as I began to turn in, suddenly this car tries to make a go for it too. So, I stopped and so did the other car. I waited for a second or two, trying to let the other car go first, but it didn’t. So, once again I decided to make a go for it, and once again as I was going for it, so did the other car. By now, I was a little irritated and ready to flip the other driver off. Once more, I waited for the car to go first and thankfully it did, but since I was annoyed I decided to flip the other driver off anyway. As, it turned I looked inside and saw a lady talking on the phone as she was driving. Now, this got me all the more irritated, but just as I was about to flip her off, she suddenly turned to me and gave me the biggest smile ever. And, just like that, in an instant all my anger faded away. I didn’t know how to react. I stayed shocked for a second or two, till finally I began to laugh at what just happened. I was surprised by how a simple smile could take out all the rage in me, in an instant. That’s when I learned how a small thing like a smile could do so much. Since then, my attitude on Delhi roads has been different.

However, having said that, it’s not like I smile like an idiot in all situations. I guess, it’s about knowing what to do and when. The basic dos and don’ts of Delhi roads I guess, are try to keep calm as much as possible. Even if the other party is all aggressive, as long as your calm, you can manage to handle the situation in a civilized way, well, up to a certain level. Another thing is, the art of intimidation. Master the art, and know when to put it into play and when to avoid it;  choose your enemies wisely. Don’t try to reason, people just aren’t ready to listen. Well, that also depends on the person your dealing with, if they’re reasonable then yes, try reasoning and talking it out. You could, if you want try my “crowbar type thing” technique, but I must warn you, use this technique with caution. And lastly, the most important of all, if you get in to a little accident or something and if anyone ever takes out a gun, forget everything I said and……..run motherfucker run.

Note:- although I did the secret “crowbar type thing” technique, I myself know it’s not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. So, honestly don’t, seriously.

She was angry but more than anything, she was scared of what was going to happen now. Confused as to, if she’d ever done anything wrong, anything to upset him, anything to have caused what just happened. She knew it wasn’t her fault, yet she felt stupid, she felt compelled to blame herself. She hated herself almost as much as she began to hate him. There was a sudden emptiness, a void, she felt; it was killing her from within.

She had known him for almost four years now. Three years of beautiful courtship. A relationship, she had worked hard for, given all that she had, all that she could. Failing to understand how such a thing could have come up at a time like this, memories of the past three years ran through her mind, she frantically searched to see if she had missed anything, any signs of anything bad in their relationship or perhaps a justification to his actions. Unable to find any, it made her feel even worse. He had always been charming, very sincere and truthful to her. They had been in-love, deeply in-love. But now she hated him more than ever, more than anything else in the world. He had stolen her dreams and crushed them. He was apologetic and earnestly sorry about it, but this was way too much for any girl to handle.

Growing up a tom-boy in a broken family, she had learned to be cold. Building a wall around herself, never letting anyone in. A perfect wedding was the furthest thing from her mind, not even in her wildest dreams did she ever think to even imagine it. However, he had broken down her walls and showed her dreams of things she had never even really thought about. The front she had put up for so long was brought down by his charm, his ability to comfort her. Although she was apprehensive about it, she let him into her world. Despite the happiness it had once given, she now wholly regretted her decision. And in spite of her rough upbringing she had always been a good girl, she felt she deserved better.

The cards had already been sent out. Months and months of frantic planning, choosing the venue, the food etc. all had  been decided. All that was left, was for her to meet him at the altar. For a while she had thought, her life was finally coming together. She was getting more than she had ever dreamed of. A seemingly perfect wedding to the man of her dreams. They had started looking at houses, apartments and had decided on a house, a little on the out skirts of the city. It had a nice lawn, a peaceful surrounding. It was to be their dream home. They would sit for hours debating on what the colors of the walls would be, how many pets to own, which of their old belongings would enter the new house and which ones wouldn’t. But just like that, in an instant, it all fell apart. All of it felt like a joke to her now.

The pain was unbearable and the more she tried to fight it, the more it hurt her. Just a few moments back she was happy, she was standing, waiting eagerly for him at the gate of her house. He said he had something really important to tell her. She was excited, their wedding was days away and with all the hectic planning, they had hardly gotten a chance to be with each other. She had a gift for him, a pair of cufflinks that she had carefully chosen for him to wear on their wedding day. Although she was nervous as to, what his important news might be, she pushed it to the back of her head trying not to over think it. However, when he finally arrived, her anxieties became even realer* due to a sudden change in his demeanor. Usually a chirpy, up beat person, he was strangely uneasy and somewhat hesitant to talk. Still trying, innocently to push away her fears, she asked him what was wrong and what this important thing he wanted to tell her was. With a nervous look on his face he struggled to stammer out a few words. She wasn’t sure if she had heard him right, she hoped with all her heart and soul she had heard him wrong. But the look on his face said it all. There was no denying what he had just told her. Despite this, hoping that she had heard wrong, she asked him to repeat himself. However, his inability to answer brought her world crashing down. He began to cry, begging for her forgiveness, but she was numb. She had nothing to say to him. It was too hard for her to digest that the man she had loved for the past three years, the one she once saw as her knight in shining armor would be the one to make her feel so ill. She yelled at him to go, she was too proud to cry in-front of him. She didn’t want to be weak. And as he drove away, she stood there. Her world now broken, her dreams shattered. And as she finally let her tears out, she looked down at the cufflinks. Full of anger and hurt, she put them on the ground and began to walk away, not knowing what would happen now. All she had left was a hope, a hope for a brighter tomorrow and the strength to be brave and still face the world.

For a friend. Be brave.

*Realer:- yes, I know realer is not actually a word, but if you want to be all nit-picky about it, feel free to supplement it with more realistic or something. I tried out different words and phrases but non of them felt right.

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